Praying for Happiness

I put my every feeling into this. I feel alone, sad, depressed, empty, lonely, a lot basically. This is jus the tip of the ice berg,but to sum up how I'm feeling now........

I'll never write anymore.

My last poem/song.....enjoy

Praying for happiness/ its hard to keep it wen all you kno is sadness/ while trying to stay sane in this madness/ been writing 5 years giving my soul to the masses/ wats the point I kno somebody sitting back laughing at this/ wish I could record it/ I need a booth begging K Toven/ I need a booth telling JO nd dem/ telling them my ideas/ niggas take it nd act like it there's/ o really that's how u feel/ AJ sitting here telling me I hope u blow/ cuz he need some new clothes/ ask him for help though/ nd he gone say no/ but its all cool I suppose/ Zay mad at how I talk to bitches/ calling me a caking as nigga/ hit me up Halloween to make plans/ then exit me out of them/ still hitting K Toven lik man i'll pay u to record a track/ making statuses all day but can't even write back/ focused on these other cats/ I swear to god I'll kill any nigga who think they rap/ don't even kno y I put on for the chatt/ I ain't nothing lik these chatt-rats/ fake niggas trifling as bitches in this town I'm at/ fuck that shit I'm finna black/ how u supposed to b my man's/ wen I fall on my face u supposed to help me man/ at least a couple words of encouragement/ but yall turn away don't even acknowledge it/ but if I got nd u need u neva have to ask me/ guess its the bitch in me/ or the angel I want to be/ but the devil was an angel nd yall pushing me/ bitches jus wanna give the pussy to me/ but I rather build something/ I don't wanna see u as another number/ but I feel she won't love me less I fuck her/ confessing my love under covers/ pillow talking to my lover/ but she tied down by another brother/ I bet she laughing at me in her head/ as she lay in this bed/ tell her friends I hit/ now they wanna try this dick/ nd who am I to say no to this beautiful miss/ now I can't find a girlfriend/ a good one a least/ she say I got too many miles on me/ I changed form that nigga who claimed MABB/ I jus want u to kno the real me/ crushing on kai but she'll neva want a nigga lik me/ maybe that's my insecurities/ another reason Neisha ain't here wit me/ nd Shunda won't talk to me/ nd females rather use me/ thinking love can help solve this/ pain of my heart broken misadventures/ can't find a good one to love him/ so I'm jus jumping chick to chick cuz I ain't neva feel my momma love was legit/ used to say all the time yall ain't shit/ I can't stand these kids/ but Damn ma u made these kids/ yo words cutting worse then those knives did/ contemplating suicide as a kid/ scared if it won't my momma would beat me senseless/ nobody can feel this/ getting picked on at school/ then come home feeling lik a stranger/ my hearts full of anger/ I try and try but do I Eva here thank u/ fake 'I love u's sounding lik I hate u/ throwing everything in my face lik I asked to b born/ bruises on my arm wen she came home for work/ lik mamma wat u so mad for/ I didn't wanna hear front door/ teachers at skool asking me do I wanna leave home/ no cuz if she found out I told it'll b worser/ tried to make it up buying me clothes/ come on now momma wen been broke to long/ I don't care about no air forces ones/ lying about u always being supportfull/ name one song or poem of mine u kno/ exactly/ I don't wanna hear no more/ I don't care no more/ wanna jus sleep hopefully it'll b better tomorrow/ then again I don't kno/ lost my faith awhile ago/ my prayers got unanswered/ since a lil nigga pissing in my drawers/ all I wanted was to b happy God/ my father to sometimes come around/ my momma to say I made her proud/ some friends to chill around/ a main lady to hold me down/ but I feel ill neva see that now/ can't remember wen I was genuinely happy/ except wen Harlem calls me daddy/ nd it ain't fair to him that his daddy unhappy/ if I die who gone raise him/ so I suffer for his well being/ I hunger to make sure he eating/ my soul dirty I need a cleaner/ I need a miracle where's Jesus/ I need a doc for my heart to start healing/ fuck u if can't feel this/ I give up wats the point of living/ wats the point of chasing a dream/ wen nobody don't believe/ wen nobody can see/ nobody but me/ am I crazy/ or seeing hallucinations/ cuz yall making me feel lik nothing/ so wats the point of trying/ wats the point fighting/ wiping tears off my face lik wats the point of crying/ looking at this pen lik wats the point in writing/ nobody even likes this/ sometimes I wish I ain't have this talent/ doing everything u can jus to come up short handed/ nd everyone around lik boy u could've had it/ but yo words came too late/ maybe if u would've said it yesterday/ I wouldn't have gave up today//

Cool?
Joe Cool
Smitty
Ricky Robinson

Wateva u call me. I'm done.